Have you ever had doubts about what His Word says? Well, I have recently, but then, the crashing waves of God's prospective and protection overwhelmed my soul. These last few weeks have been so dark it looked to me like that very last flicker of light before it is snuffed out and all you see is the smoke from what had been bright and beautiful. I can't describe what it is like to even despair of living. I'm not talking being down or having a bad couple of days - I am talking darkness of the soul.
"...of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose..."
There may be those who think this mental illness stuff is "all in your head", but that is quite literal. Our brains are an unbelievable organ, just like the heart, kidneys, liver, thyroid, etc., and when the chemicals aren't working in the brain, it is a matter of the problem is in your head. My new doc, Dr. Dubey, added a medication for bipolar and it is working! It is only a temporary fix at the moment until the other medications kick in. The only way to describe what I am feeling is on a high. Everything looks so different, really like night and day. I don't know what it will be like when I am weaned off of it, but I have to say I haven't felt as good as this for years! I am going to enjoy this possible false reality while I can. It boggles my mind that many of you are blessed to enjoy this reality all the time. Please be grateful for it because to be mentally ill can rob you of "feeling" the blessings we have. I do love my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, and I have been called according to His purpose. That means God is not finished with me yet, and as my friend and Pastor has encouraged me to remember, "Our greatest days are just ahead". In this state of mind, I fully believe that. It will be an adventure to see how this fleshes out in the days ahead. Watch out!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment